So Typically Spanish, Vol. 1

A pause in the Asturias stories (as if I was really getting into them anyways, I know, I've been lazy I'll have a new one up tomorrow). I'm going to start a new feature called "So Typically Spanish" after what George Orwell would always remark when a Spaniard, well, did something so typically Spanish in "Homage to Catalonia." The one example that sticks out in my mind right now (since I don't have the book to reference, it's on loan) is how when he got shot in the throat and ended up in the hospital, two Spanish acquaintances that he never spoke to on the front line, saw him in the hospital, talked to him briefly, then gave him a week worth of rations of tobacco.

So, I'm going to keep this feature in that vein (though it won't be updated as much as Epicurean Diaries). Unfortunately, my first volume begins on a more negative note.

Mala educación

Which means ill-mannered or poor manners. Or just plain rude. Now it bugs me that the perception of American people abroad is typically one of rich, lazy (though not in Spain, apparently), fat, and rude. While I do agree with all of those, I'm going to have some contention with the last one. I find that Americans are brought up to be quite polite actually...in general, of course. However, in Spain it's quite different.

Let's do a for example. For example, remember how in elementary and nearly every other type of schooling that you should listen intently when someone is talking and wait until they are done talking before you respond? How it's rude to interrupt someone while talking? Well, apparently that's just perfectly fine and actually the norm here in Spain. You're supposed to interrupt people in conversation, because as they say, that's how they know you're paying attention. This is not the O'Reilly Factor. Interrupting people is not polite. Say I'm trying to explain something to you. Say you asked me about the election "Oh well, you see, I really, really don't want McCain to be elected. What's even worse, if he is ele ---" and you say "I didn't know you didn't like McCain." then I continue "Yes, anyways, as I was saying if he is elected he'll be the oldest in history to --" "Oh really? That's interesting" "Jesus Christ could you let me finish? Please, anyways...he could easily die (though why Cheney hasn't yet I have no idea) then that dunce Sarah Palin could be President and at --" "Sarah Palin, oh, I've heard of her" "Great, I hope you have...at that point I'd just become a hermit and never speak to the outside world again."

That is the how we were instructed to hold conversations today in grammar class. This is supposed to be normal, it shows you're paying attention and engaged. Weird. I thought looking the person in the eye and nodding your head was signal enough that you cared what they were talking about, and how waiting until they were done talking to respond was a very polite and considerate thing to do. Letting them get their whole thought out before you start praising or critiquing it or making judgements. This whole interruption thing is exactly what is wrong with every talking heads show on cable news channels. Please Spaniards, stop.

This mala educación shows up every day on the streets. When walking down the typically narrow streets of anywhere in Europe, you're bound to be in the path of other people coming towards you. Naturally, the reaction is to both move out of the way (to then create that ever-so-awkward shifting back left and right with the person in front of you thing that still doesn't have a name for it). Nope. Not the Spanish, they'll just keep walking straight into you (and please, don't tell me that it's my fault that I didn't move out of the way, they weren't even making an effort). Now, this isn't all that bad. What really shows the poor manners is how they don't say a thing. No "perdon" nor "lo siento." Just keep on walking.

No one really washes their hands around here. Maybe I'm just a germ freak (I did have this OCD phase in my youth where I'd wash my hands with a far too great frequency), but seriously, when you take a shit, wash your hands. That's pretty simple. I can understand if you pee, just splashing some water on them, or hell, not even washing them. I'll let that slide. But when your hands are very much in your butt crack wiping away (or at least I hope they wipe), you really need to get in there and scrub away with some soap. Especially since you're making my meal and fondling my bread. 

Or eating out of a communal bowl. I know that you're still dying for some more nasty vegetable puree soup mush, but please, use the large serving spoon instead of your own fresh-from-your-mouth-nastacular spoon to dig right into where I was about to get seconds from. I suppose this is alright though, it prevents me from eating more and getting fatter than I already am.

I could go on but that would seem like I am very bitter and not accepting of new cultures. That's just not true, I'm just helping explain the fun little differences that those study abroad seminars always talk about. Don't hate me.