Exámenes

So midterms are this week.

And just like that, the reality slowly seeps in (as it should have two months ago) that I'm here to study in a university. The notion seems crazy, I know. I'm in Spain for nine months you would think that I should be learning via experience and not having to worry about homework, tests, and papers. And yet I must. Sure, it's probably less of a deal than at Madison. But then again, at Madison it didn't seem like a big deal at the time. Well, of course before the exams last year I was freaking out, thinking they'd be really hard, then studying...to an extent. But that's how it's always been with me. I'd barely study for an exam in high school and do well on it, wondering what everyone was fretting for before. The same could be said about Columbia, but let's not kid ourselves, that place was a joke and a half. 

Though the argument could be made that by thinking an exam would be bad and studying more for it (and by more, an extra hour!), I better prepared myself for the exam, thus making it seem easy. If I hadn't worried and did some extra studying who knows if I would have done as well or had the test seem as easy?

And then there's the stories I've been told by everyone who has studies abroad. It's very easy, they'd say. There's no homework, there's maybe a paper or two and a final test which isn't a really big deal. I've found this out to be a flat out lie, at least concerning the Alcalá program. While I'm sure that in Valladolid there was virtually no homework, there is not a day where I do not have at least one bit of (mostly busy) work in at least one class.

The mentality to sit down at a desk and focus on the book in front of you is not present for me. Even in Madison it was hard since there was so much going on, but even the biggest procrastinators and homework abusers eventually sat down in the study den and worked, for hours on end usually. There is no study den here where we get together and do homework, albeit slowly and with many interruptions for conversation and hijinks. No. There isn't even a desk in my house for me to work at, which was supposed to be a requirement of the host family. No, I have a "cheat the system" make-shift pullout desk. It is part of the closeting, it swings down on very unstable pulleys and doesn't even leave room for me to sit down before I'm on the bed. Yes, I could sit on the bed, I suppose, but where's the back support? Oh wait, I couldn't even do that. The desk would break if I even put a book on it, would hate to think what would happen if I rested my arms on it while furiously scribbling out a paper. Or typing on my laptop. 

So working at home is out. Starbucks seems to be the best option as the library is too quite for it's own good, and spoken English and the fact that you're American could get you in trouble just for being there. We have our own study area, they'd tell us, down in the basement. An area completely unconducive (which I've learned is not a word, but screw it, I'm a pioneer, start using it!) to studying or getting anything done. For me, at least. A strict quite rule, horribly pale white and barren walls, sixteen chairs maybe down a line on a long table. In a hallway. 

So Starbucks it is. Thankfully Spaniards generally hate Starbucks (save for the younger generation) so anytime between noon and five it's completely devoid of anyone upstairs. And their coffee is the only coffee in Spain that has caffeine in it, or so it would seem. As I've mentioned before, all the espresso and café solos I can get in any regular bar do nothing for me, but give me a grande or venti black coffee from Starbucks and I'm shaking uncontrollably and actually getting work done. And the American jazz and blues music on the speakers doesn't hurt. And the comfortable seating and big table space. And the fact you can talk and work with your study buddies. 

So there is one place I can actually get work done in Spain. I'm heading there after I write this, actually. Still leaves the questions of do I have the motivation to get work done in a place so beautiful and lively as Spain. Not that Madison or Chicago weren't lively. But there I felt like I was actually living, you know, at home. There I had fun but also had to do work, as is expected when you're at home. Spain, for me, is still that fun vacation place, the cool old European country with plenty of ancient corridors and buildings to explore. Food to eat and wine to drink. I just need to realize that I am living here, and for the next--what is it now? 7 months?-- this is my home and I better damn get used to it and do work.

I have two compositions due this week and an exam I have tomorrow. Whether or not I'll actually study for it remains to be seen. I'm sure I'll put in an hour--okay half hour--and be all the wiser for it tomorrow.